Child does not want to leave for school

We have all seen it. It's early in the school year and the 3 year old has never been anywhere besides with mom and dad. He or she is dropped off and might be fine for a day or two, but then realizes this is going to happen frequently. That's when the tears come.

We, as teachers, must recognize how hard this is for a child. There are a lot of unanswered questions and a lot of questions the child cannot formulate on his own.

"Why did mom leave me here?"
"Will she forget me?"
"How do I know she is thinking about me?"

If you have a 3 year old that can articulate that while crying, I will be very impressed.

So how do we get around this? What do we do?

There is a fantastic book by Audrey Penn called "The Kissing Hand." I tell parents to get this book. It works wonders for most students that are scared. I highly suggest you have a copy of your own and in your classroom.

Even if you're homeschooling, it's a fantastic story to read to your children.

Here's amazon's synopsis of it:
Chester Raccoon doesn't want to go to school--he wants to stay home with his mother. She assures him that he'll love school--with its promise of new friends, new toys, and new books. Even better, she has a special secret that's been in the family for years--the Kissing Hand. This secret, she tells him, will make school seem as cozy as home. She takes her son's hand, spreads his tiny fingers into a fan and kisses his palm--smack dab in the middle: "Chester felt his mother's kiss rush from his hand, up his arm, and into his heart." Whenever he feels lonely at school, all he has to do is press his hand to his cheek to feel the warmth of his mother's kiss. Chester is so pleased with his Kissing Hand that he--in a genuinely touching moment--gives his mom a Kissing Hand, too, to comfort her when he is away. Audrey Penn's The Kissing Hand, published by the Child Welfare League of America, is just the right book for any child taking that fledgling plunge into preschool--or for any youngster who is temporarily separated from home or loved ones. The rough but endearing raccoon illustrations are as satisfying and soothing for anxious children as the simple story.

It has 5 stars off 103 customer reviews. The book used to come with stickers you could put in the hand as well. I am not sure if it still does, but that is something else you may recommend if it does not.

Here's a direct link to the book. I hope you at least look at it and read the reviews. It has saved me a LOT of hassles:


http://astore.amazon.com/monteblog-20/detail/1933718005/105-1674808-0433226

We have all seen it. It's early in the school year and the 3 year old has never been anywhere besides with mom and dad. He or she is dropped off and might be fine for a day or two, but then realizes this is going to happen frequently. That's when the tears come.

We, as teachers, must recognize how hard this is for a child. There are a lot of unanswered questions and a lot of questions the child cannot formulate on his own.

"Why did mom leave me here?"
"Will she forget me?"
"How do I know she is thinking about me?"

If you have a 3 year old that can articulate that while crying, I will be very impressed.

So how do we get around this? What do we do?

There is a fantastic book by Audrey Penn called "The Kissing Hand." I tell parents to get this book. It works wonders for most students that are scared. I highly suggest you have a copy of your own and in your classroom.

Even if you're homeschooling, it's a fantastic story to read to your children.

Here's amazon's synopsis of it:
Chester Raccoon doesn't want to go to school--he wants to stay home with his mother. She assures him that he'll love school--with its promise of new friends, new toys, and new books. Even better, she has a special secret that's been in the family for years--the Kissing Hand. This secret, she tells him, will make school seem as cozy as home. She takes her son's hand, spreads his tiny fingers into a fan and kisses his palm--smack dab in the middle: "Chester felt his mother's kiss rush from his hand, up his arm, and into his heart." Whenever he feels lonely at school, all he has to do is press his hand to his cheek to feel the warmth of his mother's kiss. Chester is so pleased with his Kissing Hand that he--in a genuinely touching moment--gives his mom a Kissing Hand, too, to comfort her when he is away. Audrey Penn's The Kissing Hand, published by the Child Welfare League of America, is just the right book for any child taking that fledgling plunge into preschool--or for any youngster who is temporarily separated from home or loved ones. The rough but endearing raccoon illustrations are as satisfying and soothing for anxious children as the simple story.

It has 5 stars off 103 customer reviews. The book used to come with stickers you could put in the hand as well. I am not sure if it still does, but that is something else you may recommend if it does not.

Here's a direct link to the book. I hope you at least look at it and read the reviews. It has saved me a LOT of hassles:


http://astore.amazon.com/monteblog-20/detail/1933718005/105-1674808-0433226

Youtube "experts"

Ever notice how the internet has somehow given people the ability to think they are experts on things?

This is VERY common as far as what you hear about Montessori, despite the fact taht he is simply wrong. I am at least impressed that he did at least familiarize himself somewhat with some things in some books. Most people who claim to be expert enough to give an opinion do not even do that. Below is the video, then please read my comments on it. I quote him, then reply.

Ok. The video didn't load on the blog, so here is a direct link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-MIhmY00rYw

Now go watch it, then read my reply here.

He seems very disorganized at first and seems unclear exactly what he is trying to make as a point. He does move into the practical life activities with the dressing frame and setting the table. He talks about an example of washing dishes and I am curious exactly how he is describing it.

"You know - give them cold water with no soap and have them wash a dish off and put that one to the side. And then give him warm water and no soap and then warm water with soap. And then look at the dishes and the cold one with no soap...it's greasy."

As a parent, teacher, or anyone else associated with Montessori in some way, this is a very important thing to remember - do NOT think of Montessori activities this way. Remember that you are dealing with process - not product. Remember that the perfection of washing the dishes will be attained - if not now then eventually. The dishes the child produces from this activity will eventually become clean. We are not so much worried about the clean dishes (we can always re-wash them) as much as the process the child goes through.

The Practical Life activities are considered the backbone of a process that will continue throughout their Montessori life. Critics of the method say it reminds them too much of a robot, but that is simply because they do not really observe it. What we have is a system for a child to organize their thinking. They can take a concept as large as dish washing or table scrubbing and organize the steps they need to take to complete the task. Other benefits happen from it as well. (Left to right and top to bottom in table scrubbing is a pre-writing and pre-reading skill). Simply regarding Practical Life as "learning how to do things on your own" (not his words...just paraphrasing) is not enough. That is an important part of it. It is definitely a key aspect that a child grows in independence and becomes self-sufficient. To think, however, that the only benefit centers around the child's ability to do a housework task shows such a shallow understanding as the method. It is similar to saying Ghostbusters is about the Stay Puff Marshmallow Man. Sure, he was a part of the movie, but not the whole thing.

He is also leaving out the fact the uniqueness of this idea. When a child plays house, a child is really expressing the desire to be more grown up. What Montessori does is provide real grown up activities for the child to do. What a unique concept!

He then goes on to say, after talking about handling things with your hands:
"The Montessori method is carried through to the later stages *IN EXACTLY THE SAME WAY*" I can't even begin to mention where the errors fall in this one.

Elementary Montessori might be perceived as exactly the same by an outside observer. It still has a lot of hands on materials. There is still a certain educational buzz and excitement from the children about learning. It is carried out in quite a different way, however.

A general overview, Montessori Elementary centers around what we call the 5 Great Lessons. While fairy tales are good for learning certain things and entertainment, there are stories that are neglected by the education out there today. These stories, if used properly, can spark the child's imagination and sense of wonder. They can make the child want to learn more about all the subjects they are normally force fed in schools.

"...by offering the child the story of the universe, we give him something a thousand times more infinite and mysterious to reconstruct with his imagination, a drama no fable can reveal." --Maria Montessori in "To Educate the Human Potential"

The 5 Great Lessons center around the origin of things. How did language come about? How did the world come about? How did mathmatics come about and how do we get the numbers we have today? What about the timeline of life and how civilizations came to be? These stories are what are involved in the 5 Great Lessons and they are the cornerstone for how children can begin to understand concepts foreign to others the same age in a normal classroom environment.

The materials are very hands-on. What is unique about the Montessori method in the elementary years are not simply the materials, but also the amount of research the students are engaged in. It is not simply based on one thing, either. Something may spark the child's interest ~ he sees a frog outside (an example). He might then want to investigate about the frog's life cycle. In the process, he reviews the different types of animals and recalls that frogs are amphibians, something he learned about in the 3-6 classroom.

The child finds out frogs live near water and can breathe both in and out of water. He learns that frogs take oxygen from water and insert it directly into their blood stream.

This may lead to the study of the pond water the frog lives near. Under the microscope, the child can see the different types of microscopic organisms he became familiar with in one of the 5 Great Lessons. He learns there are different types of frogs and finds out where some of them live in the world - reinforcing his geography knowledge and possibly expanding it. This information can be included in his report that he assembles as a book about frogs, which he may choose to share with the class.

Now the child is faced with the decision. Is my report complete or did I find something else out (difference between frogs and toads, perhaps?) that I can include? While studying this, I was talking to my friend and he said he was upset about how people treat each other because of their race. Maybe I'll end this research project and do one on civil rights leaders.

Imagine this child then going on to take a "prove what you learned multiple choice" style test at another school. He comes to a question that might say:

"What do tadpoles turn into?" or
"Why is Martin Luther King famous?"

Will the child struggle over these questions, stressing out because so much information has been crammed into his head? Or will the child laugh at the test and consider it a great waste of time and wonder what the big fuss is? I can tell from my own personal experience that I laughed at the tests like this after Montessori. I never worried about them and always considered these test days to be a "day off regular school." Almost like a vacation day. I'm not bragging and jesting at those who did have trouble....I'm just pointing out the system many people were set up in pushes so much for the test that they forget to actually educate students on the information they need to easily pass the tests. It's not their fault...it's not the teacher's fault...it's not even necessarily the school's fault. It's the system's fault.

Enough with that rant. Back to this guy.

He talks about photosynthesis. He talks about the drawing of the leaf with people carrying stuff around on the leaf. It's honestly been a while since I looked at that picture, but I know what he is talking about. I SEEM to remember (Elementary Teachers, correct me on this) the people pushing wheelbarrells around and going into an elevator on the stem... Am I wrong about that? Right when he mentioned photosynthesis, I thought of that picture. I just don't remember it clearly.

Either way, it got the point across to me very well. It was obviously better understood by me (who studied it in a Montessori classroom) much more clearly than it was by him. For those that do not know, photosynthesis is the process by which a plant takes the sun's energy and converts it into food for the plant. Let me recap his description, which he says does not need to be concretized to be understood:

"You can't concretize abstract principles like that. Photosynthesis...there's just no way to concretize it. You can explain it. You can break it down into simple facts that can be absorbed one by one. But you can't concretize the abstraction of photosynthesis."

You ready for this? Here's what he said next:

"IT IS NOTHING MORE THAN THE GREEN COLOR OF THE LEAF WHEN THE SUN STRIKES IT. THAT'S PHOTOSYNTHESIS."

Whoa! When did we turn into that definition? Did science change its definitions and concepts in the last few weeks and I missed out on the update?

Obviously, his teacher failed him by NOT concretizing a concrete thing such as photosynthesis.

This review went from bad to worse. Unfortunately, I have seen MUCH worse. This is one of the only ones I have seen that tried to do it on youtube. As such, I thought it deserved special attention.

Matt

Math

I get asked many things about Montessori. Often times, people ask about different Montessori materials. Because of this, I want to introduce some of the basic Montessori Math materials. For some of you, this may be boring since you know it all ready. If that is the case, just move on and wait for my next blog. (Feel free to send me ideas of what to ramble about)

In a 3-6 class, the materials go from concrete to more abstract. A child who has been through a Montessori 3-6 program really understands the difference between 1, 10, 100, and 1000 because they have felt it in their hands thousands of times.

These are the golden beads. The picture at the top shows just the unit bead (a single bead), the ten bead bar (10 of the beads connected together), the hundred bead square (10 of the ten bars) and the 10 cube (10 of the hundred squares).

The 2nd picture you see is similar, except now the child is able to build those 10 bars, hundred squares, and thousand cubes because there are more of each unit available.

The first thing I would like to point out is something you may not have picked up on when you read the above. Notice the terms I used for hundred ("The hundred square") and thousand ("the thousand cube"). We use these for one obvious reason - it is their shape. When studying squares and cubes in Pre-Algebra, however, was it ever presented in such a way? You knew that 10 x 10 was called "2 squared" and you knew that 10 x 10 x 10 was called "10 cubed," but did you ever stop to think about why we use those terms?

When we put ten 10 bars together, we come up with an actual, physical square. When we pile 10 of those squares on top of each other, we make an actual, physical cube. This is why we have those terms "square" and "cube."

The materials also include the same things for 1, 2, 3, ... all the way up to 10.

It is important to understand this - it is not simply a "show off" method. When we talk about the genius behind these materials, we should be careful not to talk about the fact that your preschool or kindergartener will know what 10 square is while someone in 6th grade is struggling with it. The genius behind this material is the fact that we have what are normally very abstract concepts being presented at a higher level and the material gives us a concrete foundation for those concepts.

Let's talk about your kids.

Hey...

You.

Yeah, you!

I want to talk about your kids. That's right. Your kids. I don't even care if you have kids. You should know enough of them to be able to reflect on what I have to say. So finish watching that video on ebaumsworld and settle in. This is important.

I was reading "Discovery of the Child" today by Maria Montessori. I'm a dork, I know.

Think about the years when you had the most learning happen to your children. It was probably between the ages of 0-6. Why is this? It's the time when they are naturally exploring their environment, trying to master the environment, and willing to try things to make mistakes and try different ways of adapting to those mistakes. A child learning to walk might try to stand up, but realizes he cannot. His next step is to crawl over to a shelf and pull himself up.

This is done naturally. This is done with movement. This is done without the parent lecturing the child on the steps of how to learn to walk. It's done without the child sitting at a desk listening to lecturers talk about how to walk.

As your child gets older (preschool...kindergarten), they naturally develop a sense of questioning. They are always exploring new things. Parents often get frustrated with "Why" questions all the time. Welcome them. They are a fantastic opportunity for you to learn as well. One of the best computer technicians I have ever met used to read his college level computer books to his 4 year old. He said he did so because the 4 year old would always question what things meant. He said if he can explain it to a 4 year old, he knows he understands it perfectly.

So why am I writing this blog? I'm writing to ask why parents, in general, have willingly given up on their child's natural inclination to investigate new things and have simply complied to the idea that they are not going to learn quite the same way any more. Maria Montessori wrote:

"A proof of this (repression in education) may be found in the use made of desks and seats to match. Here we may see a striking example of the mistakes made by earlier materialistic educators who stumbled badly in their efforts....

...The hidden motive behind all this seperation of the children was to prevent immoral actions in the classroom, even kindergartens!...

...Everything is so arranged that, when a child is firmly fixated at his desk, he is forced to assume a position thought to be conductive to his health."

Stop and think about that for a second. What desks have done is taken away the very thing you, as a parent, found fascinating about your child. And I'm not (nor is Maria Montessori) necessarily talking about desks in general. You can imagine exactly the type of school desk we're discussing here. But, more importantly, education has changed, especially starting at the first grade, into something where immobility is practiced more than learning.

Think about when you take your children to an interactive science museum. Your child moves from activity to activity. They try everything out. They ask questions. They read about what they're doing. We come home, after spending $30 (we got them ice cream too) ... oh ... $150 (we had to use 1/2 tank of gas to drive around that day). We say, "Wow! I am so amazed at how much they learned at the museum." We do that on a Sunday, then send them on Monday to a science class where they sit in a desk and read about leaves while looking at pictures of leaves from a book. It never occures to the teacher to leave the book behind, give the kids a bag, go outside and have them collect some leaves, then sit down in a nice place to tear them apart and have the students investigate the different parts. The learning that happened in the science museum sparked an interest in you, as a parent, that happened years ago when they were first learning to walk, speak, or read. Yet, somehow, we gladly send our children to schools where they are immobile and inactive during the teaching time.

As a side note, I am not saying there aren't teachers that do well in a "desk" type environment. I feel one of the greatest teachers I had, Katie Gregg, (Mrs. Gregg back then) was clearly a huge inspiration to my style of teaching. Mr. Cronin's "Apocalypse" class in High School set me in the direction of a love for Scripture. There are others as well. They all did it VERY creatively, but it took a lot of thinking outside the box for that to happen. I will say, in my reflections, that I did not find most of the teachers I encountered outside of my Montessori years very good at inspiring me to learn.

So now the question is posed to the parents of the World:

"Why are you not demanding a more interactive approach to your child's education? Why are you allowing a test-driven educational method to prevail? Why are you not screaming out to the school board to look at other methods of education which have demonstrated a better track record than what we are presenting our children with today?"

I am NOT simply talking about Montessori, though I do have my bias there. The real issue here is that we understand so much about what is developmentally appropriate for children, yet schools fail to impliment that understanding into a classroom setting.

I think this is the most critical time for Americans, especially, to be seriously pondering this question as education in our country has severely plummeted in the last few years (thanks, George Bush!). I seriously doubt my blog is going to make much of a difference in that regard. Hopefully, I sparked a few minds that they might go out and ask their friends the same question.

I always have people question whether Montessori can really give children discipline. Think about the science museum again. I have been to several museums and I do not recall many instances where a child has been destructive to the museum. I do not recall any fights breaking out. I do not recall any child saying to another, "You're stupid!" or anything similar. I recall children eagerly moving around, trying things out, moving to the next thing. The discipline is all internalized. The most interesting ideas are met with "Awww...cool!" The most interactive parts are often met with a child telling another child how to work the machine. There is learning and there is teaching. What has happened is we have taken this idea of "disciplined" to mean "only engaged by following along with the teacher's discussion and not being a disruption." Is that seriously a disciplined child?

Since I no longer work in a Montessori school, I have noticed students are "disciplined" by the simple fact that they've taken their boredom out on scribbling on desks, drawing in their books, or throwing erasers. It is not their fault. I won't even say it's fully my fault. It's the environment's fault. I would honestly do the same thing if I had to sit in a desk from 8 AM until 9 PM every day and listen to people talk. Before working here, my students took out their boredom by putting that material away and choosing something else more challenging. Talk about a change of styles on my part. No wonder I'm having trouble adjusting to the new job.

Feel free to disagree or agree. Would love to hear your comments. If you do comment, try to answer this question: "Why are you not screaming out to the school board to look at other methods of education which have demonstrated a better track record than what we are presenting our children with today?"

If you don't answer that question, that's ok too. Just wondering overall thoughts.

Matt